Endometriosis is a disease in which the tissue that normally lines the uterus grows on other internal organs, mainly in the lower abdomen and pelvis. It causes inflammation and many other side effects, infertility, painful periods, bloating, chronic fatigue being some of them.
You might be having a friend or relative or partner who has been diagnosed with Endometriosis, who is battling the severe pain and exhaustion that is an inseparable part of the disease. You must have felt helpless in this situation and might have wondered what she actually needed and how you could be of some help to her.
Here are some practical and attainable tips to support someone who is managing Endometriosis:
Believe Her Pain
When a woman states her pain, during a flare-up, believe her. This is one of the most common things a partner or friend can do to help or support her. That sounds simple but is not necessarily so, especially if it took a long time for her to be diagnosed – in part because her doctors could not completely gauge her symptoms and pain levels.
You have to accept that the pain they are undergoing is real and not a figment of their imagination. They have to go through a vicious mental struggle day in and day out, while they complete the most mundane daily tasks, draining all their energy and leaving them exhausted for days.
Don’t Offer Medical Advice
Your intentions might be good, but you need to focus only on supporting your friend and not offering tips. You cannot fix the disease for them. What you can do for them is be there and care for them.
Be Present For Appointments, If Invited
Simply being present at the doctor’s appointments is an effective way to take an active role in your friend’s endometriosis journey. When you show up like this, it’s of incredible help, endometriosis being an isolating condition. If the patient is nervous, you can remember what the doctor said and discuss that afterward.
Ask Her What She Needs Or Wants
When a woman suffers from chronic pain, things can get out of control for her and she might have the feeling of her life being taken over by her disease.
When she is hurting, ask her what she needs at that moment. If she seems to be overwhelmed by her pain, offer her choices of a few things that you know have helped her in the past. It could be a hot bath or a heating pad, whatever might be comfortable for her at that particular time.
You can offer her favorite food if she has been lying on the couch for the last 24 hours holding her heating pad. You can also ask her if she would like you to join her for a light-hearted movie, while you have the food together. Laughter is the best medicine. You can distract her from her pain by means of an entertaining story about your day, good old jokes, relatable memes, cute videos, etc.
Let It Be On her Own Terms
Someone suffering from endometriosis might have days that function normally, and those will be regular days for both of you. However, you have to remember that her disease is still with her.
Even if the pain or cramping is not flaring, each day could feel pretty burdensome for many women. You have to cope with her energy levels and have to assure her that you can accept that and you can wait for some other time to enjoy her company.
Treat her like a valuable part of your life and most importantly, let her know that still she is. She must also be aware that you won’t stop inviting her over for lunch, just because she had refused a number of times earlier. You must recognize and accept that she might have said a “no” because she feels that she needs to care for herself and define boundaries for her physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Keep reaching out to her. Have patience.
Offer Specific, Actionable Help
You can bring a heating pad for your friend when she starts showing pain. If your friend does not have a good heating pad, you can gift her one. You can regularly help her with the daily chores. You can offer to help with groceries, laundry, child care, or running errands for her. These little care tasks will prove to be hugely helpful in easing her load, as endometriosis is often quite exhausting for a woman.
Ask First What You Can Do To Help
Before your friend HAS to ask for help, make it a point to ask her first. This is very important because a woman who is in chronic pain can feel demoralized, thinking that she is always in need of something. When you ask her first, you are making an initiative to empathize in an affectionate manner.
Avoid Focusing On Solutions, Be There
Validate your loved one’s feelings. Listen to her. Let her know that you understand how difficult it is. Don’t expect her to be alright. Allow her to cry. It is really difficult to stay strong for so long. All of us hit our breaking points. Let her break. But take care to be there and love her hard.
Goodwill IVF Treatment Center, Kerala’s best Infertility treatment Center, offers Endometriosis treatment in Malappuram. If you or your loved one is suffering from the disease, get treated by the experts at Goodwill IVF Hospital and manage the disease in the best possible way.
