On discovering they are not able to conceive, one of the fears that young people face is that they have disappointed their partners. Infertility being a very sensitive topic, many couples are not comfortable talking about it openly and may feel scared or ashamed to talk about it with their better halves. But this will only compound all your fears and make the situation much more daunting for you. These fears can be addressed by knowing how to have a healthy, open, and honest conversation, once you both feel ready to talk.
Here are some strategies that will help you have a successful infertility discussion with your partner.
Time It Right
Have the discussion when you are both relaxed and free of distractions. Make a plan for yourself about the topic of discussion before you initiate the conversation. Do you just want to share your worries or wish to make a solid action plan for the next steps?
Have Regular Check-ins
While it is always good to talk about family planning before you enter marriage, it is when you try to get pregnant that you realize how easy or difficult the fertility journey is. As your feelings about infertility and family planning will change over time, it is better to keep the conversation going. Both of you must be open to the other changing their mind in terms of readiness for treatments etc. Communication can be kept open by checking in with each other and respectfully offering your thoughts and feelings.
Use Open-ended Questions
Intentional questions must be asked to get involved in authentic and vulnerable conversations. These questions may concern family planning in general or a certain treatment plan or procedure. If voicing your feelings to each other seems difficult, you can write down some open-ended questions, and take some time to process your answers before sharing. Though it may take longer, this will go a long way to creating a healthy, vulnerable dialogue. When you’re ready to share, use gentle, soft startups and ‘I’ statements to share your perspective. You must communicate to your partner that you are a team and will move forward together.
Allow Space For Negative Emotions
The best way to cultivate a safe space for healthy conversation is to be vulnerable. You should not minimize or ignore your negative feelings toward infertility. Instead, share the heartache. Share what you need right now from your partner.
Keep Your Mind On The Facts
Since the facts of fertility are crucial and also often totally misunderstood, make sure that you inform your partner about things they may be confused about regarding infertility. For example, many men and women might not know that in addition to genetics and pre-existing conditions, age too plays an important role in the possibility of infertility.
Another important thing to remember is that infertility occurs in varying degrees and there are all kinds of treatment options like In vitro fertilization (IVF). If you are suffering from a condition that affects infertility, it is crucial to know the stats so that the conversation can be kept realistic.
Be Supportive Of Your Partner
You both must work towards finding balance with each other. The prime goal is to assure your partner that you will be there to support should you encounter difficulties. The positive aspects of the relationship should be reinforced by both of you so that tension and stress are reduced.
Never blame each other. Try to be honest about how you feel. Do not make assumptions and never tell your partner how to solve the problem. When you make personal statements, there is less pressure on your partner. Make an effort to support your partner’s emotional and physical needs during this time, by reminding them about the importance of the relationship and how much you love each other. You must understand through this conversation that you do not hold all the responsibility and your partner is in this with you. Try to keep the discussion upbeat if possible.
Keep An Open Mind When Discussing Your Options
As there are many fertility treatment options to choose from, discussing them with your partner might seem a bit overwhelming. To establish open communication, you need to keep an open mind. Since you both may have different feelings about approaching different treatments, you must share and listen when taking the next step.
Be Open To Professional Help
Both emotionally as well as medically, it’s helpful to keep your minds open about seeking professional help. Support each other while you cope with the thought of needing someone else to help. This can give you some respite and help you avoid being judgemental about it. Talking to a fertility specialist doesn’t mean you have failed in your relationship, it means you have succeeded in being honest and proactive about one another.
Infertility is a challenge faced by many couples, but modern fertility treatments can improve the odds of conception and boost your mental well-being. Remember you are together on this journey. Try to do everything you can to keep lines of communication open as a couple.
Goodwill IVF Treatment Center offers fertility testing and a variety of Assisted Reproductive Technologies that can help you fulfill your dream of starting a family. At Goodwill Infertility Treatment Center, we strive to eradicate all kinds of stress from your fertility journey.
